Retail woes...

As a customer remarked to me the other day, everyone should have to work in retail (or a service industry) for at least a year. It's the proverbial "Walk a mile in my shoes, Pal." The store started playing Christmas music over the weekend, and I heard about it from a customer. The guy of whom I speak was shopping with his woman, and they were discussing the music. The guy says to me, "Playing Christmas music this early is ridiculous. I won't be back until December 15th."

Seriously? This is supposed to what... hurt my feelings? Okay cranky customers, here are a few important points for you to remember:

1. It's not my own personal decision to decide when to start the Christmas music (or put up the holidays lights or greenery, either.) This happens at a corporate level. If you'd like to complain, I suggest that you take it up with the big shots. I will gladly give you the number. While you've got them on the line, please convey my annoyance, too. If the Christmas music wasn't being played a full three weeks before Thanksgiving, I wouldn't have to listen to you bitching and moaning.

2. You think hearing the early yuletide music is annoying for you? Try being an associate. I have to listen to it for the next seven weeks! Do you think it makes me happy to hear countless renditions of "Let it snow," and "Sleigh Ride" before the Halloween decorations have been put away? Walk a mile, pal.

3. Good luck going into any retail establishment before your self-imposed December date. That includes gas stations, supermarkets, and restaurants. They may not be starting just yet, but they will - sooner than you'd like, my grinchy friend.

4. Who are you kidding, anyway? Your wife/girlfriend does all the shopping. This is not as sexist as it sounds. Anyone who works in retail can tell you that men fall into two general categories: A. The men who enjoy (or who can fake it well) shopping and will either enthusiastically accompany a spouse or companion, or even shop on their own! Which leaves B. the men who hate to shop. I see these men every day. They do not care if the towels match the shower curtain, or what gift you choose for their mother. They just want to know what the total will be, and how soon they can get back to the game, nap, hunting, latest project, beer, their buddies, or a combination of any of these. This guy was a B. and won't be shopping on his own until Christmas Eve - just in time to find some last-minute crap for his lady. By the 24th, even an a-hole will mumble along with "Feliz Navidad," and mentally pat himself on the back for remembering most of the words.

More on retail another time... just remember to tip your waitress and Feliz Navidad!