Missing My Brother Today

Grief is one of those weird things. You think you're okay and out of the f'ing blue, it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Banner year - Dad's been gone 20 years. 20 years. That's enough to blow my mind. But Bruce has been gone 10 years. 10. It just doesn't seem that long.

They've both missed so much.

At least Bruce got to be at my wedding. But neither got to see or meet my beautiful boys. They didn't get to see the kids grow up. They never met Ellie.

And Debbie and the kids are out of our lives and that is the saddest part. So much hurt and pain that can't be undone. That SUCKS.

Looking at old pictures today and I felt like I was being kicked in the gut. Because Bruce was alive and so happy.

And I am just SAD.